Rules 51 through 58

51. If you plan on wearing sandals, cut your damn toenails. Better yet, don't wear sandals and cut your damn toenails anyway.

52. Black and midnight blue (not navy blue) are the only acceptable colors for a dinner suit (a “tuxedo” if you must). A white dinner jacket is only acceptable in warm weather or tropical settings.

53. “Black-tie” or “Formal” means that you should wear a black bowtie with white, double (French)-cuff shirt and a dinner suit or jacket (see Rule 52). Anything else is clownish.

54. “Creative black-tie” should be avoided at all costs.

55. If an invitation specifies “Formal” or “Black-tie” and you show up in anything else (see Rules 52 & 53) you are insulting your hosts.

56. You are not a man until you own a dinner suit.

57. If you jingle when you walk, you have too much change in your trouser pockets. Take it out.

58. If you insist on having your dress shirts monogrammed, the monogram should be located somewhere discreet (never on the cuff) and the monogram should be the same color as the shirt.

Rules 41 through 50

41. If your idea of “business casual” is a pair of chinos and a golf shirt, don’t do business casual.

42. No patterned silk shirts. Ever.

43. Do not pair a dark shirt with a lightly-colored tie, unless you are in a film about organized crime.

44. Square-toed shoes are never a good idea.

45. Center-vented or side-vented is always preferable to ventless.

46. Unless you are a competitive swimmer, Speedos are never appropriate.

47. Never wear a button-down collar shirt with a double-breasted jacket. No exceptions.

48. Necklaces are never a good idea for men.

49. Wearing your college class ring past the age of 25 is pathetic.

50. Never wear socks of any kind with sandals. If your feet are that cold, you shouldn’t be wearing sandals.