Rules 51 through 58

51. If you plan on wearing sandals, cut your damn toenails. Better yet, don't wear sandals and cut your damn toenails anyway.

52. Black and midnight blue (not navy blue) are the only acceptable colors for a dinner suit (a “tuxedo” if you must). A white dinner jacket is only acceptable in warm weather or tropical settings.

53. “Black-tie” or “Formal” means that you should wear a black bowtie with white, double (French)-cuff shirt and a dinner suit or jacket (see Rule 52). Anything else is clownish.

54. “Creative black-tie” should be avoided at all costs.

55. If an invitation specifies “Formal” or “Black-tie” and you show up in anything else (see Rules 52 & 53) you are insulting your hosts.

56. You are not a man until you own a dinner suit.

57. If you jingle when you walk, you have too much change in your trouser pockets. Take it out.

58. If you insist on having your dress shirts monogrammed, the monogram should be located somewhere discreet (never on the cuff) and the monogram should be the same color as the shirt.