31. Unless you are a girl, you should never wear a tank top.
32. Unless you are: (i) at the beach; (ii) swimming; or (iii) playing a sport, lost the coin toss and are on the “skins” side, put a damn shirt on.
33. If your fingernails extend past the tip of your fingers, you are disgusting.
34. No. Ponytails. Ever.
35. If your dress trousers have belt loops, you must wear a belt. No exceptions.
36. If you get a stain on a tie and Tiecrafters (www.tiecrafters.com) can’t get it out, throw it away.
37. Yes, your suit jacket has two lower exterior pockets; that does not mean you should put things in those pockets.
38. If you tan in any way other than by ordinary sunlight outdoors, you are an asshat.
39. If you tan using “self-tanner” you are worse than an asshat, you are a douchebag of the first water.
40. Lapel pins are for idiots.
24 July 2008
08 July 2008
Rules 26 through 30
26. You are not a man until you can tie a bowtie.
27. It is never acceptable to wear a baseball cap with a suit.
28. Logo umbrellas are to be avoided unless absolutely necessary to avoid being drenched.
29. Trim your damn nose hair.
30. Unless required by your religion or you are disfigured, beards are rarely a good idea.
27. It is never acceptable to wear a baseball cap with a suit.
28. Logo umbrellas are to be avoided unless absolutely necessary to avoid being drenched.
29. Trim your damn nose hair.
30. Unless required by your religion or you are disfigured, beards are rarely a good idea.
03 July 2008
Rules 19 through 25
19. The “fauxhawk” is the new mullet. That means if you have one, you are, ipso facto, a douche.
20. Approach hats with caution—some men can pull them off, but most of us look ridiculous.
21. If you wear Crocs, you deserve to be ridiculed.
22. When wearing a suit coat or sport coat, the sleeve of your shirt should extend at least ¼ inch past your jacket sleeve.
23. Unless they are of reverse-calf (suede), your dress shoes should be polished. Always.
24. Unless you are a jazz musician, shave that “soul patch,” you look like an idiot.
25. When wearing a suit, it is never acceptable to wear sneakers and then change into dress shoes when you arrive at your destination. If your dress shoes are that uncomfortable, buy new ones that fit correctly, you pillock.
20. Approach hats with caution—some men can pull them off, but most of us look ridiculous.
21. If you wear Crocs, you deserve to be ridiculed.
22. When wearing a suit coat or sport coat, the sleeve of your shirt should extend at least ¼ inch past your jacket sleeve.
23. Unless they are of reverse-calf (suede), your dress shoes should be polished. Always.
24. Unless you are a jazz musician, shave that “soul patch,” you look like an idiot.
25. When wearing a suit, it is never acceptable to wear sneakers and then change into dress shoes when you arrive at your destination. If your dress shoes are that uncomfortable, buy new ones that fit correctly, you pillock.
02 July 2008
Rules 16 through 18
16. Unless you (i) work in the IT department; (ii) are a doctor who is on-call; (iii) are an on-duty law enforcement officer; or (iv) want to look like a ass, it is never a good idea to wear electronic devices on your belt.
17. The only occasion during which it is acceptable to use a Bluetooth earpiece with a mobile phone is whilst driving. If you wear one at any other time, know that you look like a twat and people are making fun of you.
18. Pleated cotton trousers are rarely a good idea.
17. The only occasion during which it is acceptable to use a Bluetooth earpiece with a mobile phone is whilst driving. If you wear one at any other time, know that you look like a twat and people are making fun of you.
18. Pleated cotton trousers are rarely a good idea.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
