Rules 31 through 40

31. Unless you are a girl, you should never wear a tank top.

32. Unless you are: (i) at the beach; (ii) swimming; or (iii) playing a sport, lost the coin toss and are on the “skins” side, put a damn shirt on.

33. If your fingernails extend past the tip of your fingers, you are disgusting.

34. No. Ponytails. Ever.

35. If your dress trousers have belt loops, you must wear a belt. No exceptions.

36. If you get a stain on a tie and Tiecrafters (www.tiecrafters.com) can’t get it out, throw it away.

37. Yes, your suit jacket has two lower exterior pockets; that does not mean you should put things in those pockets.

38. If you tan in any way other than by ordinary sunlight outdoors, you are an asshat.

39. If you tan using “self-tanner” you are worse than an asshat, you are a douchebag of the first water.

40. Lapel pins are for idiots.